Monday, October 10, 2011

What almost was!!

Of all Birthdays, Harry Potter's happen to be a special one this year for me. Yes I know he doesn't exist but neither does the fantasy I almost had. The one I am about to share. Well the story begins on Harry Potter's 21st Birthday if you are like I and believe Harry continued to live. It was a beautiful Sunday and the travel blues have not yet set in. I arrived at the cafe to meet an unknown man. Someone I had just spoken to virtually, but was finally going to meet him in person. I sat on the big comfy sofa just waiting. Time kept ticking and our meeting time had past. "He's not coming" I thought to myself. I sat bouncing my legs in anxiousness waiting. About 15 minutes after the destined time, he showed up. I remember he was wearing shorts and a t-shirt (supporting the fight against cancer-must be a caring guy). It was a short visit, but nice at the same time. We said our goodbyes and had planned to see each other again. And so we did. Our next meet up was during the week, I snuck out for a lunch break to meet him. Once again short but sweet. I gave him a hug and he texted me and was so happy. We met again at the same place one night after work and it was amazing again. There was a storm coming and he said you better get out of here before it gets bad. He offered to sell me his house Our first night time date happened that following Friday night...where? Friday's of course. It was a great night. He talked to his son on the phone with a twinkle in his eyes...melted my heart. At this time, I was still saying that I wasn't ready for anything serious. Hey I had been so hurt in the past I was so scared. We hung out at our cars for quite some time...though he wasn't making me to happy busting on my team PSU, but hey it was all fun. We hugged again. We continued to talk and text a lot. I really enjoyed these times, so very much. But I never told him that I was starting to want more and not date other people. He came over to hang out with my friends and I and it was a fun and exciting time. My friends loved him so much that they both texted me immediately to say so. Foolish girl I am. We met up on a Sunday in Montgomeryville and went to some craft stores together. Yes!!! He did that for me. At lunch he ordered me a club soda with lemon, knowing that that is what I always ordered. I'm so stupid, I didn't believe that he could really liked me. I don't know why. That night he followed me home and we walked through the park hand in hand. I have NEVER done anything like that. We kissed that night for the first time and I got dizzy...not sure if I ever really felt that about someone prior to that, not like that anyway. It was magical. (Yes another Harry Potter reference.) I knew I was falling for him, but because I am me...I didn't tell him. I don't know why...I guess I thought if he did the fairytale would end. So we decided to spend a night together. I was so excited, a little nervous-only about disappointing him. I was in such bliss...that amazing place that books and movies say exist. It was perfection. After this...I started freaking out and insecure and started to loose everything (not that I had it, but the chance was gone too). I don't know why. I didn't feel that he wanted a relationship, not with me anyway. I am not saying that things would be different if I would have grown some guts and just told him how I felt, but I will never know now. Now he has a girlfriend, because that is what he wanted. He posted her on his facebook that he was in a relationship with _____________. If he only knew that over a month ago I wanted to change my status to say that I was in a relationship with him. Now that's not a possibility...and the world may never know if it could have been. I may have blown the best thing that has happen to me, but I surely have learned my lesson the hard way. Well to end...I will go back to where it all started with Harry Potter...a time turner would be a great gift to appear upon my pillow one day.

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