Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Enough...never is!!

Sometimes no matter how hard you try whether it's work, love...anything really, it just never seems enough. You somehow screw up and didn't do everything you could. This is so frustrating especially when the expectations are never presented properly. There is always something that comes back and takes a big chunk out of your tushy and it's really painful and STRESSFUL!!! Why, Why can't things just go smoothly in ANYTHING!!! I am tired of all the bumps in every part of my life. Bump after bump after bump...yikes. Please that is enough already!! I am so looking forward to going to the happiest place on earth for 10 days. Away from EVERYTHING reality!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

They're back.....

Not that they ever really left, but the demons have gotten loud once again. They just keep saying all these horrible and unfortunately believable things. I hung out with the "model" for a few weeks and it was great, seriously great. But how in God's name could I actually believe that GQ would stick with Good Housekeeping. I never truly had a shot. Another entry to come on all this. Now I sit and look in the mirror and hear these awful things in my mind and cannot get rid of them. It makes me seriously crazy. They are so powerful, so much more than those around me who try and make me feel better. But no matter what I do, the demons statements are so much louder, stronger and stick around much longer. I wish I could shut them up. Yes, I know I have the power do so, the sole power. I just can't find the confidence or energy to do so. Fighting them is so exhausting and I can't seem to find the right weapons to fight them. UGHHHHH....It is so frustrating and noisy. Please Shut Up!!!!!