The Ross and Rachel Saga

Sitting here watching "Friends", and the whole Ross and Rachel saga is having some issues. It is the episode where Ross comes home from China with Julie. Rachel realizes just before how much she wants to be with Ross. However, it is just too late. I feel like Rachel right now. That for a split second of my life I had the chance with a man I could have spent the rest of my life with and that split second came and went so fast. To be truly honest maybe that moment never really existed. Maybe it's his nice way of saying "Sorry I am not interested". Because it just all happen so fast. I was with him one day and it seemed like the next he was off in love with someone else. It seems a little like Ross and Rachel. Ross said how much he was in love with Rachel, but the moment she realizes her feelings, He is gone and in love with another woman. Ross and Rachel continue to stay friends for years. How did they do this? Maybe because the show is called "Friends"...LOL. I really would like to be friends, but it is a little difficult to know how happy he is and the thought that maybe I was just a second best...or maybe 10th or 100th best..who knows. "Friends"...that's all I can have right now, but how do I stop that ache of knowing what else is going on? I don't know that is for sure. I know I need to begin to move on like Rachel did. She dated. I have a date this weekend with a very handsome man, but my insecurities are already starting to come out. He's too hot for me...He can be that into me. OMG this is insane. I need to just go and have fun and enjoy his company. I know. And as my Ross said never say never. So maybe just like Ross and Rachel a day will come that Julie will find a new love and my Ross will come back to me...most likely not. So I need to focus on a new Ross...hmmm. Who could be my new Ross...maybe I just need to forget about a Ross and focus on myself so when Ross does come into my life, I can be honest and be confident enough that I deserve him.