Memories--August 25, 2009-an insert from the Diary before Blogging.

August 25, 2009

It comes down to the milk. When sitting in a hotel room, it’s not only my own bed, my family, and or my friends, but it is also the milk I miss. Milk a does the body good.. “Got Milk” not in a hotel room. Gotta have my milk. I am sitting here watching Beverly Hills, 90210, a show I remember watching while I was in high school. I remember loving the show so much and wishing I could be on it. I wanted to date Brandon, but then that Dylan won my heart. Boy I forgot how much I loved this show.

I am also thinking about Gumby tonight. He is applying for an apartment this week and even though the move will be tough on me. He will be so much farther from me. However, I really really want him to get it. I really believe it will make him very happy. He does deserve it even though he makes me unhappy sometimes. I don’t think he really wants any of the same things that I do, not with me anyway. He says he wants things to be they have been for the last 6 years, but I haven’t really been that happy for the last 6 years. Ok I haven’t been miserable, just wishing for a little more romance and sweetness form the one who I wish to share my life with one day. Enough of that, I really hope that he gets this apartment for him so that he can be happy with himself. Good luck my Gumby.

Making sense is not my goal. Getting things out of my heart an off my mind is my real goal.

My neck hurts no matter which way I sit or lay. Where’s the airport masseuse when I need one. (Columbus has one.-The only thing Columbus has J )  Why can’t life be as easy as TV or the movies? Everything just seems so much simpler. Ok there are so movies that have a lot of bad things in them and terrible things happening. However I don’t usually watch those. I watch the happily ever ending ones. I guess that is because that is what I would like in my own life. I know I am not alone in this.  But I am obsessed with it. I want the dream…

I want a Blizzard right now or maybe some potato chips. What?? Yes, I am craving something bad, maybe to fill some of this hole I have deep inside.

Oh my Dylan just asked Brenda to get on his Bike… he is so dreamy. That voice and so much more!! But remember Dylan McKay is not a real person.

Tonight’s entry all started because I ran out of milk and would really like some more.

I miss my mom very deeply. I hope she is heaven having a nice time, now with Michael, but I have to believe that she takes a moment here and there and looks down on me or comes to visit me  I miss her so very much. (Some of this is old, but I was reminiscing and realized that this was when I was in Columbus over a year ago and it was the first I chose and well I am in Columbus again. So I thought maybe it was destiny to post it. I changed nothing, but a name to protect the innocent. Dream sweet dreams.)