Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Repeat Offender

We all make mistakes, sometimes day in and day out. There are the mistakes that we take and we actually learn from them and therefore never to make the same mistake again. Once in a while though, there is that one mistake that is probably the mistake that should be teaching us the biggest lesson of our lives, but what do we do? For some reason, this is the ONE mistake that we just can't seem to stop making. It's the one that just continues to bite us in the a** every single time. And every single time we say to ourselves, "I will not do this again". But when we get into the same type of situation, the mistake just creeps up on us, takes us by surprise and knocks us down once again. We all have different mistakes me make and ones that we just can't seem to learn from. Mine as you may know from previous posts, comes from the heart. My heart just keeps falling and falling and just can't stop. "Take is slow" and "don't fall this time", my mind will say. But my damn heart is so stubborn and for some reason cannot listen. Then when my heart is lost in its on little love song (alone by the way), my mind says "at least relax, back off and don't say anything stupid". Every time I say I am not going to do this, but with today's easy access to words, I do it EVERY single time. I say or do something so insecure and scare them away faster than Freddie Krueger scares dreamers. Not that these relationships would have worked out anyway or anything, but maybe if just once, I could seriously just relax and stop letting the worst get the best of me. It's hard though, really hard. You know maybe the butterflies are really poisonous rather than amazing. Maybe they should be swatted away rather than welcomed. Ummmm....something to think about it. We shouldn't live in regret because at one time it is exactly what we wanted, but you know sometimes we do things that we just want to turn back the clock and try just one more time. The worst part of it all is that we are stuck alone with these memories. These memories that once made our hearts skip a beat and take us to the happiest place on earth (aside from Disney). These memories hurt, because we are stuck realizing that we can't get these back or relive them again. I admit! I am a repeat offender once again for letting my emotions speak out of turn.

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